Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Let’s review, shall we?

Typical early pregnancy symptoms:

  • Tender, swollen breasts or nipples – yes. Tender anyway. Not swollen. But PIO causes this. Today the nipples feel more sore. My bbs always get sore the week before AF. It goes away the morning of the day I get my period. This is basically how I've known that the previous cycles were a bust - the bbs stopped hurting right around beta day.
  • Darkening of the areola – no
  • Blue veins in breasts - no more than usual. I have somewhat large ones, and larger ones are always a little veiny.
  • Fatigue – yes. But I’m always tired. Nothing new here.
  • Sleeplessness – yes, a little. But no more than usual, this is an occasional problem for me that comes and goes.
  • Slight bleeding or spotting – yes. But I generally get some spotting in the week before my AF, and I've had this in my other failed cycles. It's mostly been lighter so far. But that could be because of a higher dose of PIO (yes, I decided to give myself slighty more than prescribed). But just now today - spotting that's redder than before. Not a lot, but it's there and it's different. It's not pink or light brown like implantation bleeding is supposed to be. That's not a good sign - that's exactly what I've had before every other failed cycle.
  • Slight cramping – yes, off and on. None so far today though. and I have had cramps with PMS before.
  • Nausea with or without vomiting – yes nausea. No vomiting. Although today so far no nausea.
  • Food aversions or cravings – not really. Although the thought of a glass of wine kind of grosses me out.
  • Changes in taste and smell – Generally I’d say no. But I was in the grocery store last night and the whole place smelled gross. But maybe it was just that store.
  • Heartburn or indigestion – no
  • Constipation – yes. But I think PIO causes this.
  • Frequent urination – maybe. But I read that increasing levels of progesterone can make the bladder contract, thereby making you feel like your bladder is full even when it's not.
  • Headaches – had one yesterday. But I get them every now and then.
  • Faintness/dizziness – no
  • Mood swings – don’t think so. but I'm not the most objective judge of this topic.
  • Increase in basal body temp – don’t know, haven’t been temping.
  • Are crazy dreams a pregnancy symptom? 'cause I sure have been having some odd ones.

So - the net of this is that all the 'symptoms' I am having are things that could easily be either side effects of PIO and/or PMS symptoms, or similar to symptoms I have had in past failed cycles. So this little review nets us nothing more than doubt.

I think I need some kind of "symptoms obsessing anonymous" - SOA. Anybody else care to join? "Hi, my name is Carol and I am obsessing".

Today I think I’m in a stage where I really don’t want to know. It’s so strange – I’ve gone from really wanting to know, to really not wanting to know. I guess because of the fear that it might be negative, and I know how hard that will hit me. The thought of the test of Friday is starting to freak me out. It’s like it would be easier to just go on thinking I might be pregnant, then to be faced with knowing I’m not pregnant.

Tonight I'm heading down the SF for a quick business trip, back tomorrow night. That will be a good break in this week that is dragging on so slow.

Oh - and I went to the RE this morning - confirmed that I do have a Bartholin Cyst. She didn't think it was so big that it warranted immediate draining. She prescribed me an antibiotic that she said is perfectly safe in early pregnancy, and hopefully that will make it go down. If that doesn't work in a couple weeks, then she'll drain it.

ok, back to mining the internet for more symptoms to obsess over...


Heather said...

Sign me up for SOA...
I check for signs even when there is NO way I am "P"

Beagle said...

The obsessing is so normal but that does not lessen ther stress of it all. Hang in there!

Wishing you luck!

Hopeful Mother said...

No offense, but I am trying really hard not to join SOA. Have been there a few times before and can't say I enjoy it much.

I'm with you on the "not wanting to know" dilemma. Would be so much easier if they could just erase our minds if it doesn't work and we could pretend we haven't been through this at all...

Hang in there!

My Reality said...

There needs to be a new drug added to the IVF protocol. Something that causes amnesia that allows you to forget that it ever happened. That way, you can make it through your 2ww without obsessing.

I could also use SOA. Or a miracle drug!

ava said...

oh sweetie, hang in there... it is SO hard and unfair that pg symptoms and progest symptoms are so much the same. i also felt like i started to not want to know. i'm going to stay very optimistic for you!

Anonymous said...

Yah, the pregnancy symptoms that are symptoms of possibly not being pregnant suck. It's great that you'll have a distraction to take you to Friday.

Kris said...

I really hate that there is no clear, no-kidding symptom that is only pg related. I'm also a bit of an obsessor, so SOA sounds like a good idea to me.

Bea said...

And the last few days always seem to take as long as the first ten put together. "Home stretch" my arse.

Hope it's worth the obsessing, that's all. Fingers crossed.


Bumble said...

I also prefer having the 'hope' of being pregnant than the 'hopelessness' of knowing for certain that I'm not. That way I can slowly ease myself into the BFN if its coming. But your symptoms sound good and I hope tomorrow brings great news!