So this is what it feels like?
I guess if I wasn't have any pregnancy symptoms, I would probably be obsessing a lot more, and wondering if I really was pregnant. I definitely do not feel normal. And I've got much stronger symptoms than I had at this point in the pregnancy that I miscarried.
So I've got that going for me. Which is nice.
I haven't actually barfed. I just feel like I'm going to barf basically all of the time. Sometimes it might be better if I actually did barf. I might lose a little weight in the first trimester, because I don't feel like eating all that much. I could stand to lose a few pounds. I certainly haven't gained anything yet. I have been forcing myself to eat, and I actually feel a little better during and immediately after a meal.
It seems to be getting gradually worse every day. Last week it was kind of intermittent. But the past several days it's pretty much constant. I haven't had any food cravings - hard to imagine when the thought of most food makes you want to barf. I did manage to get some grocery shopping and cooking done this weekend, and a few other chores around the house. I'm ok in short bursts, I just have to rest and belch at lot in between activities.
I'm kind of bloated and a bit constipated, although that symptom is pretty mild. Very gassy though. Especially when laying down. I think I basically fart all night. Sexy.
The bbs are very sore all the time now. And the bright blue veins (not just in the bbs, but all over my body) seem to come and go. Let me tell you - that is freaky - to see bright blue streaks running down your arm. And it sometimes looks like the veins are even bulging sometimes. It's like something out of a horror movie. Even J was freaked out about that one when I showed him.
Don't get me wrong. I AM NOT COMPLAINING. I would take all this and waaaaay more in exchange for a healthy pregnancy. It's just hard to have a normal day.
J thinks it's all great. Every time he asks me how I'm feeling - and I tell him I'm feeling crummy. He grins and says it's great, or "eeeexcellent". Example:
I sent him this email this morning:
"I'm going to work from home today. No meetings"
J's reply: "ok. how are you feeling?"
Me: "like I'm gonna barf"
thanks for the support sweetie. :-)
In other news. I still have that cyst. The antibiotics didn't do anything to it. So I've got a call in to the doc to see what she wants to do about it. I think she'll want to open it up and drain it. Which is what she said before, if the antibiotics didn't work. I'm sure that will be all kinds of unpleasant. The doc is out today, so the nurse will call me back tomorrow and let me know.
Poor J is very sexually deprived. He hasn't gotten any since before the transfer - so it's been more than three weeks now. This is happening for 3 reasons: 1) I really want to see a healthy heartbeat before we do anything that might stir things up down there. I know they say it's safe, but I'm insecure about this and I would hate to think that this was the reason if anything went wrong. 2) That cyst grosses me out, and I really don't want any company down there until we get rid of that. 3) It's hard to imagine feeling up for doing anything in that category when I feel like I'm going to barf all the time. Hopefully all three of these issues will pass soon, so my poor husband can get some attention.
The u/s is not until 2/21 - a week from wednesday.
that's it for now.