Thanks for all your advice - very helpful.
Our plan for the moment is to give no info. The assumption all along was that we would go to 38 weeks. It was a surprise to us the other day when he said that he would schedule for 37. So the family for now thinks it will be 38.
My mother did ask this morning -if we had discussed c-section and scheduling. And I lied. I told her we had discussed. And that we had the option of either scheduling it, or waiting until I went into labor and then just having it, or scheduling for 38 weeks if I hadn't gone into labor by then - which is all true. But the lie was that I told her that we were leaning towards just waiting to go into labor (or 38 weeks, whichever came first), and then go to the hospital knowing it would be a c-section. The opposite is true. We are going to schedule it for around 37 weeks. But we have not decided if we will tell - or if so, how far in advance we will tell.
But that at least buys me some time.
We could just get in the car that morning, and then make the phone call saying we're going to the hospital to have the babies - let everyone think that I'm in labor. Or we could tell her a few days ahead of time that the doc has decided to just go ahead and schedule it.
We'll see. I found that I was getting really stressed about this, so I'm trying to just set it aside for now - we don't need to do anything with it for a couple of weeks.
She got pissed at me yesterday - so I really wasn't feeling generous about sharing this info. Apparently my grandmother fell on monday. She's fine now, bruised up. She's getting old, and this sort of thing happens. My mother had been calling all day. I was busy working, and also feeling like I wasn't in the mood for her to unload on me. My mother likes to call and tell me every excruciating detail of everything going on. And I don't feel like I can be the listening post at this stage in my pregnancy. She was mad that I hadn't called her back. She told me so this morning. She said it was an emergency. I said was it an emergency that she needed me to do something about. She said she needed me to listen. fine. At the end of the call she reminded me again - that if she calls and leaves a message, then it's important and I must call her back, that she wants to keep me in the loop on everything. I told her that I'm 8 months pregnant with twins and I can't take on everyone's burdens right now. She says: "it's not a burden". .... uh, excuse me? maybe it is for me. It sure feels like it. I can't do this right now - I can't be the support system for the family right now. It's not that I don't care about my grandma - but I have to look out for me right now - and I can't hear every detail of all this.
Anyway. it will blow over.
In better news - we are down to a very short list of names...
We have two boy first names, and three girl first names. And we have a small handful of middle names that would pair with each of the first names. We've agreed that this is a short enough list to settle with until we have the babies. So the names are written down and packed in the hospital bag. We will make the final decisions once we see them.