feeling good - 20 weeks 3 days

I'm in Victoria, BC for a long weekend. J is sailing in the Swiftsure Yacht Race with some friends, so I took the opportunity to come stay in a nice hotel (with a spa!) for the weekend. I'm having a facial at noon today. ;-)

I'm feeling really good lately - and very much enjoying it. I have some off feelings now and then - like getting tired at the end of the day, and crampy/uncomfortable if I push myself too much. But nothing that laying down doesn't cure. The bowels ares still a daily adventure - sometimes I go 4 or 5 times a day. It's strange, because I would have expected the opposite. I find myself getting very thirsty towards the end of the day. This is probably because I don't drink enough throughout the day, and so my body needs to catch up by the end of the day. I'm still sleeping pretty good, although getting up several times to pee, and I'm starting to experiment with some different pillow combinations for comfort.

I'm feeling lots of movement from the babies now. Still not really big "kicks", but lots of thumps and feeling like there's something swimming around in my belly. Sometimes it feels very, very strange. It's like nothing I've ever imagined. I had no concept of what this would feel like. But even when it feels wierd - I just love it. It has helped my anxiety level so much. They are letting me know they are there, which is great. Usually I can tell them apart too - more of the movement is down low, from our busy little Baby A who is always swimming on the ultrasound. And occasionally Baby B joins in the party as well, with a few good thumps up higher on my left side. Occasionally I can't really tell who it is - because I get some thumps right in the middle. It's just wonderful. Every time I feel it I get a smile on my face.

It's cool to be with friends for the weekend, they are all so happy for us. I still haven't gotten any wierd questions about the twins. Most people don't know about our IF struggles - just a few very, very close friends do. So most people just assume that we got twins the old fashioned way. A few have even joked that we must have conceived during the big cold snap and snow in January - and wonder how many other babies were conceived during that time too. Well yes, that is when they were conceived, so J and I just laugh and agree - and nobody knows that the weather had nothing to do with it.

It's time to be totally out at work. I've gotten through all my interviews, and am just awaiting a decision. I told my boss last monday. And on Wednesday I told another colleague - I worked for her for a brief time, but mostly we've just been acquantainces. She struggled with IF as well - her daughter was conceived with IVF. She got lucky and got pg on the first cycle - although that was after many rounds of clomid, IUI, etc. But she has been trying for #2 for two years now, with no luck. We've talked about our troubles at length over the last couple years. And I wanted to be very sensitive to her feelings and make sure she didn't hear about my pregnancy through the gossipping hallways at work - I know how much that hurts. So I wanted to make sure she was one of the first people I told. She was totally thrilled for me, and very appreciative of how sensitive I was being to her feelings.

Next week when I'm back at work I will stop dressing to try to hide my belly. I'm a little nervous about it - because I'm sure I'll get lots of comments in the first few days. But it's time. I don't plan on walking the hallways and making big announcements to people - I hate it when pregnant women do that. I've had too many women at work make these big announcements - women I didn't even know all that well - but somehow they feel the need to tell each person directly. There is a small handful of people I will tell. The rest will just figure it out for themselves.

I've always been annoyed with the pregnant women who sit and rub their bellies in meetings, and have sworn that I won't be one of those pregnant women. But the thing is - I find that my hand just subconciously goes to the belly. I don't really rub it, but I do find myself just sitting with my hand on my belly.

I still have not purchased one single baby item. Not a piece of clothing, not a piece of gear, not a bit of furniture or decoration for the babies room. I can't totally explain why. I'm still a little freaked out by the baby section at the store. Which is strange because I wasn't freaked out by this before I was pregnant. I've looked at a million things online. I've got books that review baby gear, and I've started a couple of online registries with some of (I think) my choices, but I have yet to look at any of it in person. I had made a mental deadline in my head - that I would get to the half way mark and then start getting ready for the babies. I also know that we had these couple of weekends away in May, so I figured June was a good time to get started. And now my mom is coming up to visit toward the end of June, so I figure we will have a marathon of shopping while she is here.

that's all for now. off to my facial...