It should be noted for the record that Friday, June 1st - 21 weeks and 1 day pregnant - was that day that I started panicking about everything I need to get done. And perhaps you could also say that this was the day that the nesting instinct kicked into high gear.
It all started harmlessly enough... with cleaning out an old night stand. Our nightstands had become the place were you shoved things that didn't really have a place elsewhere in the house - the junk drawer if you will. Well we got new bedroom furniture a while back and the nightstand had been put in the 'spare room', waiting to be cleaned out. This room - aka the babies' room - the same room in which we have piled lots of other crap that needs to be dealt with - I mean heck - it sat empty for all those years while we tried to get pregnant. I had it set up nicely as a guest room for a while, but I took all that apart when we got our new bedroom furniture.
So as I started cleaning it out - throwing out a bunch of trash, finding logical places for the few things that did have logical places. I started to feel like a lot of this crap didn't really have another logical place in the home.
It's like a snowball effect. To clean out one room, means finding a home for that stuff in another room. Which then means facing the reality of the disorganization and clutter in that other room. So then that room needs to be cleaned out. And it goes from there. And then we have a problem.
(It should be noted for the record that some might say that I am slightly obsessive compulsive when it comes to organization. I can't stand having piles or clutter in my house. And you maybe could also say that what seems like clutter to me would probably seem quite organized to some other (perhaps "normal") person. I can cop to this. I admit it. But - it is my reality. I like to have a place for everything, and everything in it's place. And I get a little panicked when I don't have this.)
And then we have these lists...
Lists of little projects that need to be done around the house. Things we have procrastinated about doing for several years now. Many are small things - like a new screen door, putting up some lights, curtains, hooks, etc. Some are bigger. The list had just kept getting longer and longer as we wallowed in our infertility induced depression over the last few years - I had totally lost motivation to really do much of anything productive - other than to write it on a list. We focused on our boat - maybe because it wasn't nearly the reminder of dreams unfilfilled as our house was. The house that we envisioned filled with baby sounds. The house just stressed me out.
But now - we have agreed that we want to get all this little junk done before the babies come - so we don't have house projects looming over us while we have newborns. So combined with my nightstand induced clutter panic - I also started to get stressed out about the list.
And at some point in all this - this broken record started repeating it self in my head: "we have too much stuff. we have no place to put anything. we have a lot to do. we have too much stuff. no place to put anything. lots to do.........". I think I may have even gotten to the point friday night that I was literally repeating all this. J had to tell me to stop.
And then on Saturday my sister (who is pg and due 2 weeks before me) emails me pictures of her baby's room - all set up and ready to go. And I turn to J and say - "see! E has her babies room already done!. We were driving at the time. J practically had to stop the car. He turned to me and said "Listen - E is not setting the pace here!" (my sister is well known for being manic and obsessive - way more than me).
Aaaaanywaaaaay. I'm much better now. We got lots done over the weekend. I'm pretty tired today. I probably overdid it. But I got about 8 things crossed off the list. The babies room is still full of clutter. But we're making progress.