Monday, June 04, 2007

June 1st - the day that panic set in

It should be noted for the record that Friday, June 1st - 21 weeks and 1 day pregnant - was that day that I started panicking about everything I need to get done. And perhaps you could also say that this was the day that the nesting instinct kicked into high gear.

It all started harmlessly enough... with cleaning out an old night stand. Our nightstands had become the place were you shoved things that didn't really have a place elsewhere in the house - the junk drawer if you will. Well we got new bedroom furniture a while back and the nightstand had been put in the 'spare room', waiting to be cleaned out. This room - aka the babies' room - the same room in which we have piled lots of other crap that needs to be dealt with - I mean heck - it sat empty for all those years while we tried to get pregnant. I had it set up nicely as a guest room for a while, but I took all that apart when we got our new bedroom furniture.

So as I started cleaning it out - throwing out a bunch of trash, finding logical places for the few things that did have logical places. I started to feel like a lot of this crap didn't really have another logical place in the home.

It's like a snowball effect. To clean out one room, means finding a home for that stuff in another room. Which then means facing the reality of the disorganization and clutter in that other room. So then that room needs to be cleaned out. And it goes from there. And then we have a problem.

(It should be noted for the record that some might say that I am slightly obsessive compulsive when it comes to organization. I can't stand having piles or clutter in my house. And you maybe could also say that what seems like clutter to me would probably seem quite organized to some other (perhaps "normal") person. I can cop to this. I admit it. But - it is my reality. I like to have a place for everything, and everything in it's place. And I get a little panicked when I don't have this.)

And then we have these lists...

Lists of little projects that need to be done around the house. Things we have procrastinated about doing for several years now. Many are small things - like a new screen door, putting up some lights, curtains, hooks, etc. Some are bigger. The list had just kept getting longer and longer as we wallowed in our infertility induced depression over the last few years - I had totally lost motivation to really do much of anything productive - other than to write it on a list. We focused on our boat - maybe because it wasn't nearly the reminder of dreams unfilfilled as our house was. The house that we envisioned filled with baby sounds. The house just stressed me out.

But now - we have agreed that we want to get all this little junk done before the babies come - so we don't have house projects looming over us while we have newborns. So combined with my nightstand induced clutter panic - I also started to get stressed out about the list.

And at some point in all this - this broken record started repeating it self in my head: "we have too much stuff. we have no place to put anything. we have a lot to do. we have too much stuff. no place to put anything. lots to do.........". I think I may have even gotten to the point friday night that I was literally repeating all this. J had to tell me to stop.

And then on Saturday my sister (who is pg and due 2 weeks before me) emails me pictures of her baby's room - all set up and ready to go. And I turn to J and say - "see! E has her babies room already done!. We were driving at the time. J practically had to stop the car. He turned to me and said "Listen - E is not setting the pace here!" (my sister is well known for being manic and obsessive - way more than me).

Aaaaanywaaaaay. I'm much better now. We got lots done over the weekend. I'm pretty tired today. I probably overdid it. But I got about 8 things crossed off the list. The babies room is still full of clutter. But we're making progress.


Jaimie said...

Oh Carol, I feel your pain. I am not obsessive about things beening clean and orderly at home like I am at work. I just try at home. My husband... well I have do have piles and he has mounds or mountains depending on the room.

I too have had a little freaking out about the stuff. I have managed to de-crap or reorganize two rooms in the basement that are "storage" rooms. I have emptied everything I can of mine out of the baby's room. My husband won't let me touch his crap and it is causing me to panick just a little. He doesn't understand that time REALLY is limited. There is a ring around the chair I am currently sitting of papers, books, maps, and crap. Not one thing is mine. I don't have lists, but I keep looking around the house at things I want done before... We will get it done right???

Anonymous said...

Progress is good. Just try not to overdo it.

Nickie said...

With my first, his room was 90% done by the 20wk u/s. We'd found out gender at 14wks so I got started early.

This time, I'm having this baby in just over 4wks and his room isn't done yet. The absolute necessities are about done, but we still have to make room in the family room for swing and pack-n-play. Procrastination is much more fun this time. LOL

Take heart that not ALL of it has to be done before the babies get here, just the Pri 0 stuff. Pri 1's can wait until a bit later and anything Pri 2 or more can wait until, after they get home.

Jamie said...

This post cracked me up. I can TOTALLY relate. Since summer hit we have begun our "list" and spend two full days cleaning the basement this weekend -- now we have to clean out the room that will be the babies, etc. Agh! It is so much to think about!

I refuse to buy anything for the baby until I am 20 weeks -- but that will be here before I know it I'm sure.

Hang in there! You'll get it all done -- and know that many of us out here are in the same boat!

Sarah said...

oh i so relate to this, after the "nursery" sat around empty for so many years it really became quite the depository. i haven't begun to worry about it much yet, but when i do there will be no small amount of terror in facing that closet! wonder how long i can put it off...?

Hopeful Mother said...

I can completely relate to this - we spent the weekend cleaning out closets and throwing out/donating crap. I'm starting to panic about all the projects I want done before the babies come, but I know realistically that it is not possible to get EVERYTHING done.

As Reality says, progress is good. You gotta start somewhere!