Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year

It is New Years Eve.

I sat in the dark this evening, holding my boy after nursing him to sleep. His sister sleeps peacefully in the crib next to us. Staring at his sweet, perfect little sleeping face, I have tears running down my cheek. Tears of joy.

Thinking about this past year - a life changing year. My life is so different than it was a year ago. My my dreams are fulfilled, my life feels whole, I feel complete. All the pain and sadness is forever gone.

I closed my eyes - trying to imprint this moment in my memory forever. Will I remember how sweet he looks, how soft his skin feels, how wonderful he smells, how his breath feels on my cheek. This is my only fear - that I will forget. That I will forget how wonderful this feels.

My wish for the New Year is not for me. I have all that I wished for. My wish for the New Year is for every one of you who are still suffering the pain of infertility. My wish is that next New Years Eve every one of you will be holding your sweet baby in your arms, gazing at his precious face, inhaling his scent.

6 comments:

My Reality said...

Happy New Year, Carol!

Bea said...

Wow, yes - huge year for you. You don't have any wishes for yourself, but here's one from me - all the best in 2008.

Bea

serenity said...

This is so sweet.

Happy New Year, Carol. I'm with Bea - all the best to you and your family in 2008.

I'm so thrilled to hear you so HAPPY. :)

Heather said...

Happy New Year! I'm such a happy crier too. Thank you for the well wishes to us infertiles. I'm hoping to have a new baby this year. We're meeting with our RE this Monday to start trying again. My wish is that I can give my seven-year-old daughter a sibling this year. Watching her play with other people's babies breaks my heart. She's so sweet and loving with them.

Wishing your family all the best in 2008!

Sarah said...

me too, i spend a lot of time trying to soak it all in, savor every moment, and burn it all into my memory. i just know it will all fly by way too fast.

Anonymous said...

Happy new year to you and your new family! I'm so glad you've kept the blog going. I'm back at work and this is a welcome distraction :-)
Michele