Here's what he asked:
"Don't know if I should bring this up but guess I will anyway. If you ever feel comfortable sharing the whole process of getting pregnant with me I would love to hear it from you. I've only gotten bits and pieces. It's not relevant to anything particular just think those things should be shared between parents and children."
I've never outright lied about our infertility to anyone, I've just avoided the subject and avoided the questions. But since he asked directly I feel like I need to give him some kind of answer.
Here's the email I've written in response. Please tell me what you think. I'm struggling with the right balance of what to say.
I obviously ignored your question about getting pregnant. It's a very sensitive subject.
We did IVF. Many times over several years, after trying on our own for quite a while.
It was heartbreaking and emotionally painful roller coaster. It was depressing time of my life, and mostly just very sad. It's not easy to face the fact that your body doesn't work the way it should, and incredibly heartbreaking to be told that you may never have a child of your own. Especially when being a mother was the one and only thing that I've always known my entire life that I wanted. I've never failed at anything in my entire life, I've always accomplished everything I set my mind to, but this I couldn't accomplish and that was really hard for me to take.
Fertility science is still a lot of guessing. It took many tries to get the program just right so that my body would respond. We considered other options at various times throughout the process, but we weren't quite ready to give up yet. Obviously it eventually worked.
I didn't, and don't, talk about it because it was/is too emotional, and also because we feel that the process of making babies is something private between a husband and wife, no matter how it happens. Most people don't have to tell the details of how they get pregnant, because it happens privately in their bedroom. Mom knows some of it, but not much of the detail.
Ask me questions if you want. I might answer them, I might not. I hope you understand. Even now just thinking about it brings back a lot of sadness that I'd rather leave behind me. My life is so happy now.