Monday, February 19, 2007

Monday

Well I don't have that much to say today, but I really wanted to get that last post off the top of my page as it was kind of bringing me down.

The excitement continues - nearly constant nausea. It's mostly only gone when I'm asleep, and sometimes when I eat. The gas is still unbelievable. I have been belching and farting to rival any college football team. And that doesn't even go away when I'm asleep. ;-)

My mother is completely out of her mind. She is already shopping for maternity clothes and baby items and planning when she wants to come to visit. This is all a little disconcerting. It just seems to me like she's getting way ahead of herself - a lot of things can go wrong between now and then.

Thalya commented about this on her blog recently too - she said: "What I’m finding hardest to deal with is everyone else’s unbridled optimism". I guess people who haven't been through IF just assume that every pregnancy is going to work out? Maybe they haven't heard all the horror stories we've heard? My mother actually doesn't know about my miscarriage, so that probably makes it harder for her to understand why I am not as optimistic as she is.

I wouldn't say that I'm feeling negative about it. In fact I'm feeling a lot more positive than I did in that other brief pregnancy. I am quite hopeful and positive. I just think I'm also trying to remain cautious, and not get ahead of things here. I'm taking things one step at a time. While I'm very happy and mostly positive, I also am not ready to shout it from the rooftops yet, and I'm certainly not buying baby or pregnancy items yet.

For me, everything hangs on the ultrasound on Wednesday. That's the farthest we've ever gotten before.

14 comments:

Bumble said...

Carol, I know you're scared and nervous, but I'm hoping that everything keeps going well and that Wednesday brings a beating little heart to ease your fears a tiny bit. Every day is one day closer to your little one.

ava said...

I can completely relate. Every day I feel like it gets a little easier to believe that things will work out, but I still can't buy pregnancy stuff or even tell most of my friends yet.

Here's hoping that Wed brings great news :)

Bea said...

Hey - last-minute luck for your ultrasound tomorrow.

Also to answer your question: yes, my lining is nice, which I totally don't appreciate because it's always been just fine. Bad me.

As for LP support - it actually means I need it more, since stim cycles are associated with shortened luteal phases, which is a bit of a problem for me given my history of LP spotting. It also means I can't have my usual hCG, for fear of OHSS. Which is good from a "no more needles til beta day" perspective, but kind of scares me. I'll be relying on progesterone only.

Bea

My Reality said...

I am hopeful for you and keeping things crossed that the ultrasound goes fantastic!

Keeping The Faith said...

Hi Carol- Sorry you have so much nausea. Doesn't sound fun. A few friends of mine swear that ginger helps. Ginger candy and ginger tea. I don't have any nausea yet. When did that set in for you?

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I really hope you see a heartbeat or two :-) How exciting! Can't wait to read your update.

-Faith

ellie said...

oh yeah, I can relate- I went to a mall this weekend with friends and we stopped in the maternity store -- there were all these happy pregnant ladies and I couldn't stay in the store- I figure if I want to shop in that section in a few months then I am going to need to go at a time when no one else is there- it felt weird to be there and even the sales person seemed to falsely perky to me.

Meg said...

Good luck tomorrow - I cant wait to hear the results :)

Hopeful Mother said...

I can relate... I'm optimistic - things SHOULD work out - but until we've actually seen that little heart beating I'm not sure if I believe it. That's not to say I'm pessimistic - just trying to keep my enthusiasm in check for now.

Hoping for good news for both of us tomorrow!

steph said...

I am SOOOO far behind, but congratulations!!! Jeez. Seems like just yesterday you were trying to figure out the protocol for starting this latest adventure. Wow that sounds old. Am I 80???
I think the struggle with IF continues until the delivery, and then there's all those other things to worry about. But you've gotten this far, and perhaps you're going to make it a little further. Hell, you've got that damn stork on your page now!
Good luck and looking forward to the new news.

Kris said...

Good luck tomorrow! Hope it's one more bit of wonderful news to help herald you on your way.

JenderBender said...

I'm so happy for you, I'm sure it's hard to not to be scared, but it's awesome that you have come this far.

Good Luck, I will be thinking of you!

Jen

Kate said...

I am behind on my reading--and holy cow, it is Wednesday already, so I will keep refreshing for u/s details, but I wanted to say that I think you are handling it beautifully--positive and yet not ahead of the game. In terms of nausea, when I was pregnant with my son, I was sick any time I had a twinge of hunger, so I always had to have food with me. But it sounds like food is not helping you much. Ginger did nothing for me--it actually made me feel more sick, but I hope it does the trick for you.

Anonymous said...

Hello there-

I stumbled on your blog as I was googling first ultrasound appt. I had IVF which worked on the first try for me. The issue was PCOS and male factor.

My U/S is tomorrow at 2- I am beside myself with excitment but more so fear. I keep stumbling on all these sad sites that make me worry that something bad will happen to my baby and that's not normal- I should be estatic!!

I am crossing my fingers for you- hoping your appointment went well- so that it can rub off on me.

I have a blog too- not sure if you will be able to access it through the link- if not email me at Raeposner@yahoo.com

GOOD LUCK,
Rachel

The Town Criers said...

I've been crossing my fingers over here knowing the u/s is today. Here's hoping that it was wonderful. Please post with an update.