I guess the bottom line with the job is this: I don't want to have to pound on doors and 'network' right now. I just don't want to. It's too much work and worry and stress for me right now. I will be ok with what they give me. But I guess the thing is that I have to make them believe that I am looking around and that I want more (even if don't), so that then maybe they'll be motivated to give me something that's not mediocre. So - I guess the plan (for now) is to act like I want to be agressive about it, make them believe that I really want something bigger, but in reality I plan to just take what I get and be happy with it. Make sense? maybe not. maybe it doesn't make sense to me either. It's basically impossible to get fired from this company (they're so afraid of getting sued, that you really have to screw up for a long time to get fired) - so I'm not worried about not having a job at all. Just a little worried about having a job that sucks. But I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
And of course I jinxed myself - as predicted. All that talk about feeling better. Yesterday I felt terrible again. Nauseous all day. Terrible gas pains and gas all night. and throbbing headache the last 2 nights. This morning seems better, so we'll see how today goes.
I still can't manage to gain any weight - got on the scale this morning and I am still down 3 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. I was up a couple the other day, but seems like 1 day of feeling crummy and not eating much other than yogurt has me right back down. I'm worried that these little guys aren't getting enough nutrition from me. And I'm guessing that I'm not getting enough nutrition for myself either - possibly the cause of the headaches.
Ok, pulling myself together now... going to try to eat something more than yogurt for breakfast.