I noticed as I logged on to write this post that I have quietly bypassed my 100th post on this blog. That's a little milestone for me - given that less than a year ago I had never even read a blog, much less considered writing one.
Wow - I am almost to that coveted 12 week mark! That feels like a very big milestone. Does 12 weeks mean I am in the second trimester? or is that not until I am 13 weeks?
There is an upward trend in how I've been feeling - however I'm still not to a point that I would call 'good'. But if I look back to a few weeks ago, things are improving. Back then I was nauseous basically all the time. And so exhausted that I had to struggle to keep my eyes open all day. I am not experiencing those things as consistently any more. I still have waves of nausea throughout the day, some days more than others - but it's no longer constant. I still eat more yogurt than anything else, but I am eating one normal meal most days, and I don't feel crummy afterwards every time (just sometimes). And I still really need an afternoon nap most days - but the exhaustion isn't as overwhelming and constant. I still can't really do much - Saturday I ran some errands - went to the cleaners and the grocery store - and I was wiped out for the rest of the day after that. But a few weeks ago I guess I wouldn't have even considered going to the grocery store.
So - overall - it's getting better. But I'm really looking forward to that second trimester and the rumored feeling better that should come along with it.
Sleeping at night is getting frustrating. I have been waking up at around 4:00 almost every day. And I have a hard time getting back to sleep. This is highly unusual for me - I am a big sleeper normally. Sometimes it seems I wake up because I'm hungry - but then I eat something and I still can't sleep. Sometimes I'm not hungry, I'm just awake. It's really aggravating - especially when I really need the sleep right now.
I talked to my MIL yesterday - J had told her about the twins earlier last week. She is just so excited. She wants to come stay for a few weeks (or as long as we need) to help out when they are born - she offered to come and cook, clean, do laundry - whatever I need help with. She was very sweet. She lives about 3 hours away. She's a very nice lady, but I have always had a hard time finding something in common to share with her - so I'm looking forward to these babies as an opportunity to bring us closer together. One little annoyance though - she knew we were doing IVF. And yesterday as she's telling me how she has told all her friends about the twins and they are all so excited (we have met most of her friends - a very nice group of people) - she also says "well I hope you don't mind, but I had told them all that y'all were doing IVF - so of course they were anxious to know how many you were having". So what do you say to that? I actually do mind that she told everybody. But what's done is done, so there's really no point in telling her that I mind (because she does have a tendency to get easily offended). So of course I just made nice and told her that of course I didn't mind. There's just no point in getting into it with her. And I guess in the long run I don't really mind if people know that we did IVF. It's not something we broadcast broadly - but I wouldn't lie about it to people we know if they asked. I'm glad we never told her about the donor eggs though - because that is the one piece of this that I don't want most people to know about. We don't plan on telling anyone else about that - I already think too many people know - because I think my sister told a few of her friends that she was giving me her eggs. But that's fine - it's hers to tell - and they aren't people that know me so I guess it's no big deal. Mostly I don't want any other family to know.
I am really looking forward to the NT scan on wednesday. It will have been two weeks since I've seen them - and I'm back to my state of worry about whether they are both still there. I need an ultrasound fix!
And a very good news story from one of my BBS friends - she is on her 5th IVF try - after one miscarriage (an empty sac - just like me), and a chemical pregnancy - both of those started out with low betas. We started out one the IVF board with our first cycle at the same time - and her and I had very similar histories and very similar results from our cycles. Most of the other girls got pg while her and I will still trying. Her beta this cycle was 28 at 15dpo - pretty darn low. She was fearing that it was another chemical or impending miscarriage. Well - she just had her u/s today at 6 weeks 4 days - and they saw a heartbeat!! So hopefully that is encouragement for anyone with a low starting beta - sometimes they do work out! I am just so happy for her. This is such wonderful news.
Things are no better at work. I still have no idea what my job is.