I noticed as I logged on to write this post that I have quietly bypassed my 100th post on this blog. That's a little milestone for me - given that less than a year ago I had never even read a blog, much less considered writing one.
Wow - I am almost to that coveted 12 week mark! That feels like a very big milestone. Does 12 weeks mean I am in the second trimester? or is that not until I am 13 weeks?
There is an upward trend in how I've been feeling - however I'm still not to a point that I would call 'good'. But if I look back to a few weeks ago, things are improving. Back then I was nauseous basically all the time. And so exhausted that I had to struggle to keep my eyes open all day. I am not experiencing those things as consistently any more. I still have waves of nausea throughout the day, some days more than others - but it's no longer constant. I still eat more yogurt than anything else, but I am eating one normal meal most days, and I don't feel crummy afterwards every time (just sometimes). And I still really need an afternoon nap most days - but the exhaustion isn't as overwhelming and constant. I still can't really do much - Saturday I ran some errands - went to the cleaners and the grocery store - and I was wiped out for the rest of the day after that. But a few weeks ago I guess I wouldn't have even considered going to the grocery store.
So - overall - it's getting better. But I'm really looking forward to that second trimester and the rumored feeling better that should come along with it.
Sleeping at night is getting frustrating. I have been waking up at around 4:00 almost every day. And I have a hard time getting back to sleep. This is highly unusual for me - I am a big sleeper normally. Sometimes it seems I wake up because I'm hungry - but then I eat something and I still can't sleep. Sometimes I'm not hungry, I'm just awake. It's really aggravating - especially when I really need the sleep right now.
I talked to my MIL yesterday - J had told her about the twins earlier last week. She is just so excited. She wants to come stay for a few weeks (or as long as we need) to help out when they are born - she offered to come and cook, clean, do laundry - whatever I need help with. She was very sweet. She lives about 3 hours away. She's a very nice lady, but I have always had a hard time finding something in common to share with her - so I'm looking forward to these babies as an opportunity to bring us closer together. One little annoyance though - she knew we were doing IVF. And yesterday as she's telling me how she has told all her friends about the twins and they are all so excited (we have met most of her friends - a very nice group of people) - she also says "well I hope you don't mind, but I had told them all that y'all were doing IVF - so of course they were anxious to know how many you were having". So what do you say to that? I actually do mind that she told everybody. But what's done is done, so there's really no point in telling her that I mind (because she does have a tendency to get easily offended). So of course I just made nice and told her that of course I didn't mind. There's just no point in getting into it with her. And I guess in the long run I don't really mind if people know that we did IVF. It's not something we broadcast broadly - but I wouldn't lie about it to people we know if they asked. I'm glad we never told her about the donor eggs though - because that is the one piece of this that I don't want most people to know about. We don't plan on telling anyone else about that - I already think too many people know - because I think my sister told a few of her friends that she was giving me her eggs. But that's fine - it's hers to tell - and they aren't people that know me so I guess it's no big deal. Mostly I don't want any other family to know.
I am really looking forward to the NT scan on wednesday. It will have been two weeks since I've seen them - and I'm back to my state of worry about whether they are both still there. I need an ultrasound fix!
And a very good news story from one of my BBS friends - she is on her 5th IVF try - after one miscarriage (an empty sac - just like me), and a chemical pregnancy - both of those started out with low betas. We started out one the IVF board with our first cycle at the same time - and her and I had very similar histories and very similar results from our cycles. Most of the other girls got pg while her and I will still trying. Her beta this cycle was 28 at 15dpo - pretty darn low. She was fearing that it was another chemical or impending miscarriage. Well - she just had her u/s today at 6 weeks 4 days - and they saw a heartbeat!! So hopefully that is encouragement for anyone with a low starting beta - sometimes they do work out! I am just so happy for her. This is such wonderful news.
Things are no better at work. I still have no idea what my job is.
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13 comments:
Even though you’re not feeling great yet…at least your feeling better. And that magical "feel great 2nd trimester" is right around the corner. Supposedly we start to worry less and feel better. I'm counting the days. I have my next u/s exactly at 12 weeks which seems like forever so I can't wait until it's here. I read in one of my pregnancy books that most women only have 1 or 2 ultrasounds their entire pregnancy. Can you imagine?
Congrats on over 100 posts and also on nearing your 2nd trimester. I think things will start going really fast after that point. The babies will be here before we know it and we'll be wishing we had one more week to prepare :-)
Also- about your MIL...what can you do. I know how you feel. She means no harm but it gets old and it really is no ones business. I feel very comfortable with talking to others struggling with Infertility b/c I feel like I'm helping them in some way. But have a hard time telling anyone that has no experience with that ...I've had a few bad experiences. We don't really want a lot of people knowing…we did IVF b/c we haven't decided on when or how we are going to tell our children and we want to be the ones to tell them...not the cousin who tells them they were made in a Petri dish instead of mommies tummy. That’s my main concern.
Have a great week!
Faith
Hope your energy picks up soon--2nd trimester really does feel better. And congratulations on 100 posts! That is a huge deal.
Congrats on the over 100 posts. I am glad you are starting to feel a little better.
Glad to hear that things are progressing so well, and to hear you sound so excited. So happy for you!
just wondering, are you going to tell your children about them coming from donor eggs? must be a difficult decision...
Congrats all round!
I am glad you are feeling better! Enjoy it while you can. I would imagine that you start feeling really tired and uncomfortable a lot earlier in a twin pregnancy.
Isn't it weird that people think they can just discuss your personal information with others? Rude, I think. But I guess it just comes down to cluelessness as usual. I am so happy things are progressing normally for you. I hope you start to feel better soon too. I've heard the next trimester is the best, no longer sick but not yet so huge you can't get comfortable. Good luck with the job situation.
Can't wait to hear how the NT scan goes!
I had that insomnia thing too with my last 3 pgs. It's so annoying - you're exhausted, but you can't get the brain to shut off and sleep already!!!
I should figure out how many posts I've done, I bet I missed my 100 post milestone too.
So glad you're feeling better!
When you say you don't want family to know about the donor eggs, do you mean your family or your husband's family, or both? I'm curious as to the reason for that. Do you think they would be judgmental or derisive about it?
Like Thalia, I too am wondering if you're planning on telling your children later on. I imagine it would be a bit different if they were from an anonymous donor, but since it's your sister, it's not exactly your secret alone. Plus, you still are genetically related in addition to biologically carrying them in your womb. Whatever you decide, I think it's important to make sure that you and your sister are on the same page, regarding the privacy of that information.
I can't beleive MIL told such personal info to others. *sigh* I guess if you've never been through it you can't understand....but still.......sorry you are feeling crummy but I'm glad MIL offered to come help for a while. That's going to be a blessing (hopefully)
hugs to you...so cool to follow the stories of those who go before me.
Hugs,
rae
www.brokeneggs.wordpress.com
I follow your blog but am one of those naughty types who don't comment. I really thought I should today as I see today is the 12 week mark and scan day. Congratulations! Whatever else is going on that must feel fantastic x
Carol--I forgot to ask--could I put a link to this post in the emoblopedia? Under "being outed"? We don't have any links in that category yet...
Congrats to your two milestones.. hitting 100 posts and reaching your 2nd trimester. Glad you are feeling better. Sorry to hear about your MIL sharing such personal info to people. I just went through that whole ordeal with my other sister. I just had to learn to let it go as well. People just have no idea sometimes.
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