Well – I finally broke down and bought some maternity clothes!
I was a little freaked out about buying the stuff – I guess back to that fear of jinxing things – but a girlfriend went with me and sort of forced me to get started, which was good. I don’t really need the maternity stuff quite yet, I do still have some regular clothes that fit, although fewer every day – but I have had this nagging fear of waking up one morning and not being able to go to work because I have no pants that fit – so I figured I’d better at least get a couple pairs of pants. And of course I managed to go totally overboard and buy a ton of stuff. But there was a lot of good stuff on really good sale at G.ap, O.ld N.avy and T.arget – and a lot of people have told me that if you see something you like (especially at those cheaper places) that you must just buy it now, because it won’t be there later. I can't bring myself to pay a lot of money for stuff that I will only be wearing for half a year, so I am happy to shop at these bargain places and find some cute things. I am a pretty casual girl anyway, so I'm able to shop at the casual places. I got several pants, jeans, a variety of shirts - mostly t-shirt type things. But I'll tell you - I may never go back to wearing regular jeans again - these maternity jeans may be the most comfortable thing I have ever worn. I think I could sleep in them. And they're pretty cute too.
At lot of it is a bit too big still, but it’s all good stuff for really good prices – and I know I’ll be needing big stuff. And I’ve left the tags on a lot of it in case I don’t want it later. I’m still trying to wear my bigger ‘normal’ clothes to work for at least a few more weeks. The maternity stuff really makes me look pregnant – it’s like it’s designed to emphasize the belly – whereas in my other clothes I’m just looking a little heavy. I still really don’t want people at work to know that I’m pregnant – because there are a lot of job decisions up in the air – so I need to try to avoid looking pregnant at work for as long as I can. We'll see how long I can keep it up though - the pair of pants I'm wearing today were baggy last week, and today they seem a little snug. So I may have to be letting the news out at work within the next couple of weeks.
I also totally cleaned out my closet and drawers – got rid of a lot of stuff that’s getting a little tight, and just stuff that I’m kind of tired of and know I won’t want next year.
I have to say - this was the first time in a long time that I can remember feeling good about shopping for clothes. For the past three years I was always reluctant to buy myself much - because I kept hoping that I'd be getting pregnant very soon, and wouldn't be needing regular clothes. So I have been getting by for the past few years with clothes that I didn't really love and didn't feel very good wearing. Shopping over the past couple of years has always made me feel sad - like I had to be doing it because I needed clothes and I couldn't get pregnant. It was never fun or something that made me feel good. So this really was good to try on some cute things and feel good about buying them.
I still don’t really have a pregnant belly – it's still just mushy fat. But the mushy fat does seem to be sticking out more. It seems that the pregnancy hormones cause you to lose all your ability to suck in your belly fat. I've never had a super flat stomach - I've always had a little soft pooch - but I've always been able to suck it in pretty well and hide it in clothes. But now I can't really do that.
And - drumroll please.... I appear to finally be gaining weight! Yesterday and today it looks like I am up about 3 - 5 pounds (depending on what time of day I get on the scale).
I think I’m finally feeling a lot better. I had a lot more energy this weekend. Although today I’m a bit tired, I probably overdid it yesterday since I was feeling so much better and wanted to get caught up on stuff. The jury is still out on whether this is an improving trend, or whether it was just a few good days in a row.
I’m feeling the babies ‘flutter’ a lot now. They seem to do it most when I am sitting in a meeting – I guess they are already misbehaving and trying to distract me when I’m trying to pay attention to something else. They don’t move much when I’m at home and really wanting to feel them!