Friday, August 03, 2007

30 weeks? how did I get here?

First - thanks to everyone to your comments on the last post. I have the Baby Bargains book - that's how I've narrowed it down to two. Now it's just a decision between more $$ + more features, or less $$ and less features - but both seem equally safe, so I feel comfortable with either on the safety front.

I'd be happy to share my spreadsheet with anyone who wants it - just send me your email address - whatifthis at hotmail dot com. Then you will truly see how anal I am. I have a tab for baby gear, one for baby clothes, one for the hospital bag checklist, one for diaper bag checklist, one for misc to-dos, and one that I've meant to use to keep track of the gifts I've received and thank you's sent. I've also added a tab with my work-in-progress feeding/changing log - the twin moms that came to our birthing class said it was very helpful to keep a log of when you feed, change, etc. I also read this in one of my twin books. So I've been playing around with that - trying to make it foolproof - so that sleep deprived people can easily fill it out.

So speaking of clothes & gear - specifically of things that have been given to me... in the 21st century - are we yet to a point where it's ok etiquette to send thank-you emails, instead of actual cards? I'm so much faster at getting emails out. Please tell me your honest opinion - would you think it was odd if someone sent you an email to thank for a gift, vs. an old-fashioned card? Or maybe I could compromise and send emails to some of my friends who are more of the email generation, and do the old school kind to my older relatives & my parents friends who probably would expect that?

I am just dreading hand writing these dozens of cards.

Ok - so - I'm 30 weeks (and 1 day) pregnant! Wow - time is really flying. I will have these babies in probably 6 - 8 weeks. Could be less, but I doubt it (given the cervix of steel that I seem to have). I just can't get over how fast this has gone by. Where did the time go? Am I ready? I guess so. The list of things I must get done is actually pretty short. And I still feel so good. I have heard that people hit a wall between 30 -34 weeks - so maybe I'll start feeling uncomfortable and miserable soon.

One of the big things I still need to do is find a pediatrician - I guess I'm supposed to have one on board before their born, to come check on them in the hospital. I've started asking around for a few references. Worst case scenario - I have a list of referrals from the OBs office that I can try calling.

Oh - and I'd heard that you get clumsy when you're pregnant. And boy am I. My poor toes. It seems I always have at least one toe that is bruised and sore these days - because I find myself bumping into things that never used to be a problem. I can't manage to keep a pedicure looking decent for more than a few days.

On the daycare front... we are pretty much 100% decided on going with a Nanny. I've done a bit of research on costs of day cares in my area - ones that would be convenient to my office - and it is unbelievably expensive. The one that would be my first choice is $1760 per infant - or over $3,500 per month for two babies. Ouch! I think I can get a good nanny for about $3,000 a month. So - for less money, I can get the more dedicated care, in my own home - and there are lots of conveniences that come along with that. Like not having to get myself and two babies up and dressed in the morning, and having someone who will do a few chores around the house, etc.

I still don't know how we're going to pay for this. We make good salaries, but carving $3K out of the monthly cashflow is going to be very hard - not to mention other baby expenses on top of that. Funny how you don't really think about this when you're trying so hard to get knocked up. J and I are going to have to sit down and make a budget, and really stick to it, and find some areas to cut back. We haven't had to do that since the first couple years we were married and first bought our house. Honestly things have been easy for us the last several years and we haven't had to pay much attention to a budget. So we're back to living on a budget. But we've done it before, we can do it again. And it's for a good cause.


Jaimie said...

Congratulations on the 30 weeks. In some ways it seems like it has flown by right and in others it doesn't, huh? I keep hearing people say that the third trimester feels like an eternity, but it doesn't seem that bad to me. There are things I would like to be done with, but I still feel like I can handle a couple more weeks.

Sorry, but I think you still have to hand write the thank yous. I am always klutz but it is certainly worse. My feet have been swelling more the past couple of weeks and I made one worse by tripping over my dog and kicking a chair. I heard it break, not to mention I felt the pain. Oh well, it isn't the first time I have broken a toe... It makes it hard to tell what swelling is from the break and what is the other swelling I need to worry about!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe how expensive child care is in your area!

Jamie said...

I'd love a copy of the spreadsheet!

Your child care costs seem really expensive to me. I guess that is one benefit to living in the middle of nowhere. The average family here pays about $15 per child/per day for in home daycare. Since I am a teacher and I work 180 days a year my cost will be around $3000 a YEAR. Way cheap. :) (Also, my mom will be watching him but I am paying her the local average!)

Sarah said...

i'm having a how did i get here moment too after realizing i'm at viability today. very weird.

on the thank you's, i'm the same way about emailing. it's my first choice mode of communication and i rely on it probably more than i should. i have recieved email thank yous and found them no less meaningful than cards. but, i still would feel obliged to write cards, worrying that not everyone would be as receptive. but then i worry too much. and once the twins arrive, everyone will be willing to cut you a lot of slack.

GLouise said...

Congrats on 30 weeks!
Your spreadsheet sounds awesome!

Wow- childcare costs sound just incredible in your area, but then again, I have not priced it out here in my region yet.

Heather said...

Wow! You sound very organized. I remember keeping track of feedings and diaper changes when we had our one DD, so it makes total sense to track with two. You just lose track otherwise as each changing and feeding seem to blend into the next.

I'm really curious about your nanny search, if you'll use a nanny service or if you'll search on your own. I keep hoping we'll need to worry about those things again.

twirl said...

Carseat - My preference is an infant seat to begin with. It may increase the cost, but I feel better about having a seat designed specifically for an infant. Also, I've read of people (particularly with smaller infants) that weren't happy with the fit of a convertible at first and felt an infant seat would be a better fit for that tiny body.

Thank Yous - I think you're ok to base it on the recipient. For my ILs and people I don't know really well, it must be handwritten. For some of my family though, a verbal thanks is enough. It's just understood that it's ok. P and I have come to an agreement that he's to write thank your for his family/friends and I'll be responsible for mine.

I have become a total klutz. And forgetful.

Meg said...

Holy crap thats expensive for child care....but, the nanny option sounds great.

Congrats on the 30 weeks.....I remember when you first got your positive...I think that was 3 IVF's ago :(

Jessica said...

I think that for people that are super close to you, an email is so appropriate. However, the folks that are merely accquaintances they probably necessitate an email. My neighborhood recently has been delivering meals to my family (I have 2yr old triplets, 1 yr old twins, and my DH was recently diagnosed with cancer) I don't know many of these people, but theres NO way that I can send out tank you notes to all of these people... As much as I appreciate their lovely meals... I've been sending out a personal email to each family thanking them for their wonderful thoughtfulness... I think it's appropriate in certain circumstances!!
Good Luck...

A said...

Oh ugh, childcare!! I am so putting off thinking about that since it's just as expensive where we live. I am thinking about doing a nanny-share to get the benefits of a nanny at 1/2 the cost, but who knows...I figure I'll start thinking about it for real after the baby comes since I'm planning to take 6 months before going back to work (yay!).

As far as thank you notes for gifts go, I have to admit I'm a bit of a traditionalist there. But I actually like buying the cards and writing them out, and I always like hand-written thank you notes when I get them. But I'd also say that for younger people and/or people who you're really close with, email is probably fine as long as it's still sent personally to each person (i.e I wouldn't do a group email even if I got a group gift). Definitely older people, and people you don't know as well I'd go with hand-written.

6-8 weeks, WOW!

The Town Criers said...

I think you have to do the handwritten card. I know it's really hard. We did three or four a day and it took forever. I also made my husband do a lot of them. I wrote out a template where all he had to do was copy it and add one or two personal sentences.

Childcare is expensive. But look at it as a weekly expense vs. a monthly one. It feels a little more manageable when you think about it as a percentage of a paycheck rather than that lump sum. It still hurts a lot to pay it.

30 weeks!!! That is huge :-)

Hopeful Mother said...

Yeah, I'm sorry that I have to concur with the others- I did handwritten notes for both of our showers. But hubby did about half of them for his co-workers and friends, so it wasn't so bad.

For your feeding/changing log, you may want to look at the ItzBeen. We just got 2 of these little gizmos - so we're going to see how they work in lieu of a notebook...