Tuesday, February 26, 2008

One week

One week from today I am back at work.

It feels like a strange count down. I don't know - like when someone has been sentenced to a jail term but doesn't go right away - you have a later date when you have to show up to serve your time. So you try to squeeze in as much time with your family as you can before you go.

I guess it's not all that bad. I have mixed feelings about it honestly. There are times lately when I feel like I'm ready for the break and change in my day. But then when I think that I feel terrible - because what an awful mother I must be to ever want a break from these little miracle babies.

I think they will be fine. Actually, I know they will be fine. We have hired an excellent nanny. Expensive, but worth every penny. She will play with them and nurture them and teach them. And they will only be with her four days a week (most weeks, although we will occasionally have her on friday). And they will be with one of us the other three days. And she will be fun for them. And she will help with a lot of other stuff around the house (time permitting of course, there are days with twins when nothing else gets done), so that when I get home from work I can focus on enjoying them.

And they will be happy to see me when I get home, that will be cool. Right now they get so excited when Jim gets home in the evening. And I think, "hey, what about me?" But they've been with me all day. So I guess when they haven't been with me all day, hopefully they will be just as happy to see me.

But will I be fine? Everybody says the first few weeks leaving them are hard, but it gets easier. I honestly don't know how I will feel that first day. Will I cry? Or will I be ok? Will I be nervous to leave them with a stranger? Actually that I the answer is no - this is one of the reasons we chose to hire a more expensive, experienced nanny. We could have paid less for someone with less experience, but I think hiring someone really good will help my anxiety over leaving them. They'll be with someone who knows a lot more about taking care of babies than I do. Heck, I've just been making it up as I go along.

I'm sure my anxiety will get worse over the next few days. Wish me luck.


Beagle said...

Good Luck!

(I wish I had some advice to go along with it, but I'm drawing a blank.)

seattlegal said...

Good luck.

My first week back was hard because I missed them, but nice because I had time to eat my lunch at a normal pace. amazing how a small thing like that is nice. Even though our babies were little miracles, we need a break from time to time.

Hopeful Mother said...

I go back to work 3/24 and I feel the exact same way - I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I don't want to miss a moment, and on the other, I feel like a part of me is missing since I haven't been working.

And I worry about how it will all work out - but in the end, I know it will. And it will for you too.

peep said...

I feel for you but you seem so level headed and will probably adjust very well. I'm sure you will find all the good things with the new situation. I'm glad you found a nanny you like and trust. I bet the babies will do great!

Jaimie said...

Good luck! It is different than before.

Bea said...

Enjoy your last week, and good luck with the adjustment.


Heather said...

Trusting your children's caregiver(s) is the most important part of being able to relax and enjoy working. It is nice for a break from parenting, and it is true that they will be so excited to see you when you get home.

My daughter's seven years old now and she was always in day care/nursery school, but I picked it so carefully. She was at the same place from 7 months until she went to Kindergarten and she learned so much there. They were all older experienced ladies (even their teacher's aides weren't right out of high school). I loved the School Director fiercely for her attention to detail at picking loving, caring, inspiring teachers.

Good luck!

The Dunn Family said...

It's a hard transition, but you will do fine, especially since you are so happy with then nanny you have chosen. I would by lying if I said that sometimes I didn't enjoy being at work. For me, and obviously this is a personal thing, being a SAHM was really hard. I loved them with a ferocity I didn't know existed, but I felt in such a rut. Never leaving the house, never seeing other adults, that stuff was hard for me.

Going back to work saved my sanity. I missed them a lot. But like seattlegal said, It's nice to have lunch by yourself. I would eat lunch every day and read a book. Which was so nice and normal for me. And then when I got home, I loved every minute with the kids.

You will do wonderfully!

Jaimie said...

You can do it!