we have no nanny.
I gave it a lot of thought - talked to my husband, talked to my mom, talked to a friend whom I trust very much, talked to the nanny agent some more (who is a mother of twins and has totally BTDT).
Everybody had the same advice: you have to go with your gut.
And my gut said it was time to move on. It didn't matter how apologetic she was - she went off the deep end and acted unprofessionally, and I couldn't feel comfortable with someone who conducted themself that way. We hired a "professional" nanny for a lot of reasons - one of those being that we expected her to act professionally, and she didn't. I might have been more forgiving had I hired an inexperienced college student, but this was supposed to be a professional.
So I called the agent this morning, and told that I was willing to meet and have an open mind, but that my gut was telling me that it was time to move on. She said she thought I might say that, and she felt I was totally justified, and we should just cancel the meeting and not waste our time. So she called and fired the nanny for me. (this agenct is worth every last penny we paid her - if only for the luxury of not having to have that conversation myself - I know, I'm a whimp). And she has already lined up a few potential new candidates for me, even one who is willing and able to temp next week.
Now we must decide - are we looking for another full time nanny, or a part time one? I need to have a conversation with my boss next week, and see if she thinks part time is an option for me in this job. I've scheduled a meeting with her on tuesday. Mean time - I'm going to plan to work half days next week, see about this temp nanny for those half days, and buy us some time to figure this out.
Thanks to all of you who offered your support and advice. It helped.
Now I'm tired. Emotionally drained from all this. I have resumes in my inbox (yes, the agent is fast) to look at, but it needs to wait until tomorrow, I don't have the energy today.