The good news: I didn't do it.
The bad news: I came closer to striking my own child today than I ever thought I would.
Daniel likes to scream. Not because he's upset - it's not a 'screaming and crying' kind of scream. It's just an 'exercising his voice' kind of scream. I think perhaps it's partly because he doesn't talk, that he has very few ways to express himself. And this is one of the few ways that he has chosen. Telling him "no" doesn't do any good. He just does it more. I'm told by others that the best course is to just ignore the behaviour, don't give him a reaction, and he'll eventually stop doing it. I'm pretty good at that most of the time. But occasionally - when he's screaming nonstop in my face while I'm trying to dress him, it's too much to handle. Today I just wanted to smack him. But I didn't. I dressed him, put him in his bed, walked away and closed the door, and went to another room to catch my breath. Of course he quit the screaming and amused himself quietly, when I'm not there for him to scream to.
These are the days when I feel inadequate.
I am home alone with the kids one day a week. Friday is my day off, and the nanny's day off. So it is the one day of the week that I have the kids all to myself, Jim is at work.
It concerns me that the stress of one day gets to me. If I can't handle this for one day a week - who am I kidding?
deep breaths.... counting to ten....