Thanks so much to all of you for your comments. It's so nice to know that so many people are following and hoping the best for me - it really does help.
I'm doing better after my pity party of last week. It's been interesting - this negative result hit us both harder than we thought it would. Jim was pretty low too - and feeling very shocked at how low he was. He said "It's so strange, here I am almost 50 years old, and I'm really depressed that my wife's not pregnant". But we're doing better. We got out on our boat for a couple days last weekend, which is great for taking ones mind off things. The kids are great and remind me every day of how blessed I already am. My work prospects are looking up - this is the end of the FY for the company I am consulting for, so all contracts have to be renewed. Nothing guaranteed yet, but it's looking positive that my contract will get renewed for the same high fee I'm already charging them, and I might have a line on a second contract - the two combined would have me bringing in a tidy sum over the next year. Nothing like $$ to make you feel better about yourself.
And of course I'm already in progress for the next try. I'm on the BCPs now - after the blood bath of the century - the lovely post-IVF period from hell. That's always like adding the final insult to the whole thing. I start Lupron again on July 6th and we are aiming for transfer around the first week in august. I'll remain hopeful and positive - our chances should still be very good - but I won't have the unrealistic 'can't fail' approach that I had this last time. I learned that lesson.
I've caught up on a lot of blogs this evening - sorry I didn't leave any comments - I've got limited time and I wanted to make sure I got caught up with everyone. There's a lot of good news in the blog world - congrats to all of you. And there's some not so good news - I've been there, I'm thinking of you.
I'm on my own with the kids until monday now - Jim has taken off to visit his dad for a few days.
Also a reminder - I also post on a public family blog under my real name - that is where I post updates about my kids, all kinds of pictures and stuff. I feel it's better to keep that content off this site, as I know how it feels to read about kids on an IF blog. But if you want the address of the other blog, just email me - whatifthis at hotmail dot com - if I recognize your name as a commenter here, or your blog name, I'll email you the link. I know some people asked me for it a while back and I think I neglected to answer a few emails - sorry about that - please try again and I promise I'll respond this time. I'm also on FB under my real name - I give that one out a little more selectively, but I'l add you if I know you pretty well.
got to go get some sleep now - I have my hands full for the next few days.