I think about being pregnant every day. I still miss it every day. I wasn't really prepared for this, I didn't know I would miss that feeling so much.
Every night when I get in bed, and I lay on my side, I instantly remember what it felt like to lay in bed and feel my babies move in my belly. Getting in bed at night was one of my favorite times - laying quiet and still in bed was when I felt the babies move the most. I would lay on my right side and feel baby A, who I now know as Daniel. And then turn to my left side and feel baby B, who I now know as Callie. They had unique personalities even then - their movements were different - even then I could sense how unique they each were. It was wonderful.
And now when I lay down in bed that memory comes back to me. I instinctively put my hand to my belly. I close my eyes and try to bring back that feeling.
This is one of my most precious memories.
I would love to feel that again some day.
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When I was struggling to get pregnant, I used to wonder: "what if this is as good as it gets?" Well, it got a lot better...
About Me
After a long battle with infertility - a lot of tears, a lot of depression, a lot of shots and invasive medical stuff - I am now the proudest mother of twins. I am having so much fun being the mom to these little blessings, so much fun in fact that we are now embarking on another round of treatment - going to give it a try with a couple of our frozen embryos.
Email me at whatifthis at hotmail dot com.
I've removed some of my IF history from this site due to some unwelcome attention. But I am happy to share my IF story with others who are facing a similar situation. Just email me.
Email me at whatifthis at hotmail dot com.
I've removed some of my IF history from this site due to some unwelcome attention. But I am happy to share my IF story with others who are facing a similar situation. Just email me.
5 comments:
What a sweet post... I remember feeling that way after my first daughter was born - especially the first night in the hospital - waking up panicky because I hadn't felt her move in a while and then realizing - oh, it's because she was already born.
I hope you get to feel it again someday too.
I feel like i could have written that. I miss feeling them inside me every single day. Especially since I know I will probably never be pregnant again, it's something I miss vehemently sometimes. I know it's all part of the cycle. If I still felt it, they would be WAY overcooked in my body. 8-) Why is it so hard for us to enjoy these amazing times when we are experiencing them? I was a wreck through my whole pregnancy scared that something would go wrong. Now that I know it didn't, what I wouldn't give to go back and do it again!
Happy New Year!
I so know what you mean, and this post brought a tear to my eye...
I also feel like I could have written that. I miss being pregnant and feeling them move inside me. What the dunn family wrote is just so true!
well i am in the minority i guess, i've never really felt that. probably a result of refusing to believe i was ever actually pregnant. i remember thinking how good you were about enjoying pregnancy though, so no wonder!
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